Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize