Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
