now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
