ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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