When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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