Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
