Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
