If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
