Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
