it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
