I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
