sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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