How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
