I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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