I have demons in me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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