If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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