he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
