You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
