The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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