But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
