do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize