those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
