not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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