Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
