can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
