I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
