i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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