if i can run in heels then i can drive
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
