I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
