There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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