Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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