i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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