Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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