Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
