no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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