I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
