fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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