Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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