Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
zippers are such a cool invention
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made him laugh his dick is mine
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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