they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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