How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
