too bad you live with your parents still
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize