Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
