Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
