Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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