Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
