Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
