organizing the empties. That sober.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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