you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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