did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
