the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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