dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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