well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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