Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
