True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
