I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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