mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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