I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
