She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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