oh god the rape fog is back!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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