I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
