Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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