Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
